In Debt forever

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rah
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In Debt forever

Post by rah » Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:30 am

The boss and I are finally buying a house. Now I get to be in debt for the next 25 years or so. It will be much better than living in the concrete shoe box that I live in at the moment though.

Now any ideas on avoiding the question? Yes "the" QUESTION.
Ok, Lewis may win the WDC in 07, but Sato will beat him in 08.

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Re: In Debt forever

Post by Julian Mayo » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:03 pm

rah wrote:The boss and I are finally buying a house. Now I get to be in debt for the next 25 years or so. It will be much better than living in the concrete shoe box that I live in at the moment though.

Now any ideas on avoiding the question? Yes "the" QUESTION.
Cut your tongue off.
How the hell r you going to move the fish ? :shock:
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Post by jacfan » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:19 pm

Why would you want to avoid "the" question? Isn't the fact that you are buying a house together already making a statement about your relationship? If you love her then why the hesitation? Buying a home together is one of the biggest commitments you can make. As for "the" question, well, I believe you should be talking about that before you get involved in the legal ramifications of joint ownership of a property. If you have any doubts at all you should not do it.
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Post by Julian Mayo » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:21 pm

jacfan wrote:Why would you want to avoid "the" question? Isn't the fact that you are buying a house together already making a statement about your relationship? If you love her then why the hesitation? Buying a home together is one of the biggest commitments you can make. As for "the" question, well, I believe you should be talking about that before you get involved in the legal ramifications of joint ownership of a property. If you have any doubts at all you should not do it.
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Post by jacfan » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:32 pm

While that may be true, just remember one thing. When you get towards the end of your mortgage you will suddenly realise that you need to refinance in order to (finally) afford all the renovations you need/want. It does not go away after 25 years, trust me. (unless of course you are exceedingly rich, which makes no sense considering your original post)
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Re: In Debt forever

Post by rah » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:45 pm

Julian Mayo wrote:
rah wrote:The boss and I are finally buying a house. Now I get to be in debt for the next 25 years or so. It will be much better than living in the concrete shoe box that I live in at the moment though.

Now any ideas on avoiding the question? Yes "the" QUESTION.
Cut your tongue off.
How the hell r you going to move the fish ? :shock:
Nah she would find a way.
Carfully. Done it twice so far. Not very fun and takes two people a day to do.

Just starting to look good too. Been delving into aquacultured corals. Reduces the impact on the worlds reefs.
Ok, Lewis may win the WDC in 07, but Sato will beat him in 08.

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Post by rah » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:48 pm

jacfan wrote:Why would you want to avoid "the" question? Isn't the fact that you are buying a house together already making a statement about your relationship? If you love her then why the hesitation? Buying a home together is one of the biggest commitments you can make. As for "the" question, well, I believe you should be talking about that before you get involved in the legal ramifications of joint ownership of a property. If you have any doubts at all you should not do it.
Lol hesitation cause I cant afford it.

Nah buying a house is more important than marriage. Besides, she works for a lawyer and her dad has a gun and plenty of land to hide my body. Where would I run to?
Ok, Lewis may win the WDC in 07, but Sato will beat him in 08.

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Post by jacfan » Thu Jul 13, 2006 2:56 pm

Marriage won't (have to) cost a thing. The wedding on the other hand could (if you let it) cost you a fortune. Money you could put to better use.
My BIL is getting married and they are doing it as cheaply as possible. No spending 40k for them. My wedding, although a L-O-N-G time ago, was done very cheaply but still nice. :) :)

Seriously though, if you don't want or need the certificate, then don't do it.
There really is not a lot of reason to actually go through with, what basically amounts to a a ceremony with a bit of paper at the end. Legally after a couple of years you have the same rights as a married couple.

I should just shut up now. :oops:
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Post by rah » Thu Jul 13, 2006 5:00 pm

jacfan wrote:Marriage won't (have to) cost a thing. The wedding on the other hand could (if you let it) cost you a fortune. Money you could put to better use.
My BIL is getting married and they are doing it as cheaply as possible. No spending 40k for them. My wedding, although a L-O-N-G time ago, was done very cheaply but still nice. :) :)

Seriously though, if you don't want or need the certificate, then don't do it.
There really is not a lot of reason to actually go through with, what basically amounts to a a ceremony with a bit of paper at the end. Legally after a couple of years you have the same rights as a married couple.

I should just shut up now. :oops:
Yeah I know. Unfortunately she has a good understanding of the law. Her version of splitting up is she takes half, then half of my half.
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Post by Snowy » Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:47 pm

rah wrote: Yeah I know. Unfortunately she has a good understanding of the law. Her version of splitting up is she takes half, then half of my half.
Marraige is an institution and who wants to live in an institution?

The fact is that if you don't marry you run the risk that she will leave you and take everything you have, if you marry she may leave you but you'll still have the solace of knowing that you did everything in your power to keep her.

Trust me on this one if your woman isn't reminded of your committment to her at least once a day - preferabley twenty or fifty times - she will have doubts and fears and fear is the key here, we are all afraid and the one thing a woman fears more than anything in a relationship is that you might not love her. You do, you probably always will but fear is an incredibly powerful and destructive force and it can tear relationships and human flesh to shreds.

If you love her and want her to be happy and if she has ever mentioned marraige or hinted that she might some day like to get married then the question is not that big only your fear which is in fact a good thing because you have the opportunity to confront your fear. And when you do you will shrug your shoulders and say "that was no big deal" and you can get on with the rest of your life and love. :roll: Did I just write that? :shock:
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Post by GhoGho » Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:15 pm

Snowy wrote:
rah wrote: Yeah I know. Unfortunately she has a good understanding of the law. Her version of splitting up is she takes half, then half of my half.
Marraige is an institution and who wants to live in an institution?

The fact is that if you don't marry you run the risk that she will leave you and take everything you have, if you marry she may leave you but you'll still have the solace of knowing that you did everything in your power to keep her.

Trust me on this one if your woman isn't reminded of your committment to her at least once a day - preferabley twenty or fifty times - she will have doubts and fears and fear is the key here, we are all afraid and the one thing a woman fears more than anything in a relationship is that you might not love her. You do, you probably always will but fear is an incredibly powerful and destructive force and it can tear relationships and human flesh to shreds.

If you love her and want her to be happy and if she has ever mentioned marraige or hinted that she might some day like to get married then the question is not that big only your fear which is in fact a good thing because you have the opportunity to confront your fear. And when you do you will shrug your shoulders and say "that was no big deal" and you can get on with the rest of your life and love. :roll: Did I just write that? :shock:
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Post by Julian Mayo » Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:41 pm

If you have doubts, you aint ready 8) When you cannot imagine a life without your girl in it everyday, you are ready 8)
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Post by jacfan » Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:43 pm

:excuse: I am sorry Snowy but I have never heard a bigger load of dung in my life.
Trust me on this one if your woman isn't reminded of your committment to her at least once a day - preferabley twenty or fifty times - she will have doubts and fears and fear is the key here, we are all afraid and the one thing a woman fears more than anything in a relationship is that you might not love her.
Twenty to fifty times a day? Anyone who needs to be reminded of your love that often has serious issues with self esteem. I am a woman and married and it would drive me to distraction if I had to hear that constantly.
You do, you probably always will but fear is an incredibly powerful and destructive force and it can tear relationships and human flesh to shreds
True. However if you are basing a relationship on fear then it is either doomed or not worth the trouble.
Don't get married if you don't want to, and if your relationship is worth having it will not matter whether you have some ceremony to prove it. :evil:
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Post by Julian Mayo » Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:01 am

Sorry Snowy, but I have to agree with the lady who can see a black ute at that distance :lol:
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Post by Snowy » Fri Jul 14, 2006 3:04 am

jacfan wrote::excuse: I am sorry Snowy but I have never heard a bigger load of dung in my life.
Perhaps I exaggerated a bit and used a bit of poetic licence, and I hope that I did not imply that one should marry because one is afraid.

However I have good reason to believe that even people with low self esteem are valuable members of our society and deserve to be nurtured and loved. And I know what it is like to have loved someoene with low self esteem and am in love with someone with low self esteem.
I pride myself on not having any self esteem at all and am thatnkful that I can be loved.

I think you'll find we are all very complex and paradoxical. Afraid of committement whilst paradixically afraid of being alone, amongst other things.

One should always think for oneself though, ignore people who write on forums, ignore one's gut feeling at one's peril and not be afraid of marrying or not marrying the one we love.
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