Jokes

Want to relax, share an experience or just have a friendly discussion. This is the place

Moderators: cmlean, Ed

Julian Mayo
Forum Hall of Fame
Forum Hall of Fame
Posts: 15661
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2005 7:07 am
Location: Tying the antenna to the tallest tree I can find.

Post by Julian Mayo » Sat Jul 14, 2007 5:19 pm

cmlean wrote:I'm keeping my head down.
You will be lucky if you keep it. :shock2:

jacfan
Forum Legend
Forum Legend
Posts: 5546
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2006 11:24 pm
Location: I come from the land down under!!

Post by jacfan » Sun Jul 15, 2007 4:56 pm

Julian Mayo wrote:
cmlean wrote:I'm keeping my head down.
You will be lucky if you keep it. :shock2:
'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'
Holy crap on a cracker! Image
Number one idiot for 2007!!!!!
2008 Round of France winner!!! Wooooooohoooo!!!!!!
2010 Round of Britian winner!!!!!!

cmlean
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3217
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:19 am
Location: Upside of Down Under
Contact:

Post by cmlean » Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:04 pm

Fire truck?

Julian Mayo
Forum Hall of Fame
Forum Hall of Fame
Posts: 15661
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2005 7:07 am
Location: Tying the antenna to the tallest tree I can find.

Post by Julian Mayo » Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:48 am

cmlean wrote:Fire truck?

Fluffy feral fox?

cmlean
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3217
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:19 am
Location: Upside of Down Under
Contact:

Post by cmlean » Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:17 am

Flaming Furious Female :oops:

Julian Mayo
Forum Hall of Fame
Forum Hall of Fame
Posts: 15661
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2005 7:07 am
Location: Tying the antenna to the tallest tree I can find.

Post by Julian Mayo » Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:33 am

cmlean wrote:Flaming Furious Female :oops:
:lol: :notme: :TOTW: :compute: :bcomp: :shotgun: :duel: :axe: :gl:

cmlean
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3217
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:19 am
Location: Upside of Down Under
Contact:

Post by cmlean » Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:01 pm

Is my hole deep enough yet?

cmlean
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3217
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:19 am
Location: Upside of Down Under
Contact:

Post by cmlean » Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:03 pm

At an Officers’ Club in London, a Colonel enquired after a Captain named Carruthers.

“He’s gone to live in the Himalayas with a baboon, Sir!”

“Good Heavens! Male or female?”

“Oh it’s a female baboon, Sir. There’s nothing odd about Carruthers!”

Julian Mayo
Forum Hall of Fame
Forum Hall of Fame
Posts: 15661
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2005 7:07 am
Location: Tying the antenna to the tallest tree I can find.

Post by Julian Mayo » Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:36 pm

cmlean wrote:Is my hole deep enough yet?
Another 3 ft should do it. :lol:

jacfan
Forum Legend
Forum Legend
Posts: 5546
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2006 11:24 pm
Location: I come from the land down under!!

Post by jacfan » Tue Jul 17, 2007 11:34 pm

cmlean wrote:Is my hole deep enough yet?
How deep is it now? I am not sure how tall JM is but I should think you will want it at least 6ft down. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.... funny joke. FFFFFFFFFFFFF.. fogot I hadn't finished that comment.
Holy crap on a cracker! Image
Number one idiot for 2007!!!!!
2008 Round of France winner!!! Wooooooohoooo!!!!!!
2010 Round of Britian winner!!!!!!

cmlean
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3217
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:19 am
Location: Upside of Down Under
Contact:

Post by cmlean » Tue Jul 17, 2007 11:36 pm

jacfan wrote:
cmlean wrote:Is my hole deep enough yet?
How deep is it now? I am not sure how tall JM is but I should think you will want it at least 6ft down. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.... funny joke. FFFFFFFFFFFFF.. fogot I hadn't finished that comment.
It had to be posted. Too good to let pass.

jacfan
Forum Legend
Forum Legend
Posts: 5546
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2006 11:24 pm
Location: I come from the land down under!!

Post by jacfan » Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:15 am

cmlean wrote:
jacfan wrote:
cmlean wrote:Is my hole deep enough yet?
How deep is it now? I am not sure how tall JM is but I should think you will want it at least 6ft down. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.... funny joke. FFFFFFFFFFFFF.. fogot I hadn't finished that comment.
It had to be posted. Too good to let pass.
It was very funny. I am not that sensitive.
Holy crap on a cracker! Image
Number one idiot for 2007!!!!!
2008 Round of France winner!!! Wooooooohoooo!!!!!!
2010 Round of Britian winner!!!!!!

jacfan
Forum Legend
Forum Legend
Posts: 5546
Joined: Sun Apr 02, 2006 11:24 pm
Location: I come from the land down under!!

Post by jacfan » Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:15 am

Shortly after the Pope had apologized to the Jewish people for the treatment of Jews by the Catholic Church over the years, Ariel Sharon, then the Prime Minister of Israel, sent a proposal to the College of Cardinals for a friendly game of golf to be played between the two leaders, or their representatives, to demonstrate the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Catholics and the Jews.

The Pope then met with the College of Cardinals to discuss the proposal.

'Your Holiness,' said one of the Cardinals, 'Mr. Sharon wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show that you are old and unable to compete. I am afraid that this would tarnish our image in the world.'

The Pope thought about this and since he had never held a golf club in his life asked, 'Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?'

'None who plays golf very well,' a Cardinal replied. 'But,' he added, 'There is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer, who is a devout Catholic. We can arrange to make him a Cardinal, and then ask him to play Sharon as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we will also win the match.'

Everyone agreed that this was a great idea. The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and he agreed to play as a representative of the Pope.

The day after the match, Nicklaus telephoned the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. 'This is Cardinal Nicklaus. I have some good news and some bad news, Your Holiness,' said the golfer.

'Tell me the good news, Cardinal Nicklaus,' said the Pope.

'Well, Your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I have played some terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous.'

'How can there be bad news?' the Pope asked.

'I lost by three strokes to Rabbi Woods.'
Holy crap on a cracker! Image
Number one idiot for 2007!!!!!
2008 Round of France winner!!! Wooooooohoooo!!!!!!
2010 Round of Britian winner!!!!!!

GhoGho
F1 Race Winner
F1 Race Winner
Posts: 1054
Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 10:34 pm
Location: 770

Post by GhoGho » Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:13 pm

Walking through the bush Gary and Griff came across a dingo licking its privates. After watching for a few minutes Griff said to Gary, "Just between you and me, I've wanted to do that all my life."
A bemused Gary looked at him and said, "Go ahead mate, but I'd pat him first. He looks pretty vicious to me."
I'm in shape

Round is a shape...........


:cheers:

Julian Mayo
Forum Hall of Fame
Forum Hall of Fame
Posts: 15661
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2005 7:07 am
Location: Tying the antenna to the tallest tree I can find.

Post by Julian Mayo » Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:53 pm

GhoGho wrote:Walking through the bush Gary and Griff came across a dingo licking its privates. After watching for a few minutes Griff said to Gary, "Just between you and me, I've wanted to do that all my life."
A bemused Gary looked at him and said, "Go ahead mate, but I'd pat him first. He looks pretty vicious to me."

:ROTFLMAO: :rolling: :ROTFLMAO: :rolling: .................................. :shock:
The Mountain is a savage Mistress.

Post Reply