Stories From the Paddock

[mlittle]

This thread will need some explaining....Now I'm sure that in the F1 world there are some pretty interesting stories that people have come across and told, to countless others. The same could be said for the IndyCar Series paddock, thus, the reason for this thread. Every so often I(your humble IndyCar moderator) come across some intriguing(okay, sometimes, very intriguing) stories, anectdotes, and other musings out there and I'd like to share them, just as a way to break the ice, so to speak.

Now, this first story involves the two most recognizable people from this year's Indy 500--Danica Patrick and the guy that actually won the race, Dan Wheldon. Come to think of it, you sort of start feeling sorry for the Englishman, really. I mean, imagine, you've just won the biggest race of your life, and after all the celebration and hoopla, you pick up a copy of SI and, to your horror, while your car's stuck in the upper left corner, she's front and center, the first IndyCar series driver on the cover since Danny Sullivan's "Spin-n-Win" at the 1985 Indy 500. Of course, it didn't stop there. During the IRL's victory tour for Wheldon the week after the 500, it seemed as though the first question everyone asked was: Where's the girl? Of course, being the tongue-in-cheek type, Wheldon responded to it by saying, nonchalantly, "I don't really care." You can't blame him for saying it, after all...He did win the race.

The constant repartee between him, Patrick, the media and the other series regulars continued through to Texas(Rd.6) when following the drivers' meeting prior to the race, Wheldon emerged w/Patrick's two teammates, Buddy Rice and Vitor Meira wearing shirts that poked fun at all the media attention that she had gotten since the 500. Rice's said "Danica's Teammate." Vitor's said, "Danica's Other Teammate". Wheldon's said, "I Actually Won the Indy 500." A minute later, Patrick walks out of the meeting with a nice response; on the back of her shirt was the SI cover from 6 June 2005, while on the front was "Who's On The Cover of SI, Dan?", all-in-all, an interesting conclusion to the 2 weeks between the 500 and the rest of the season. It just reminds me that open-wheel drivers are like a large fraternity--they may gripe and b---- about themselves, other drivers, their equipment, the series(occasionally), etc. but they also respect each other enough to have fun and remember that, despite the media attention, theirs is a serious(and sometimes very dangerous) profession, thus, the jokes(practical) and otherwise are a way to release any pent-up steam before going to the track.

[mlittle]

While this story has an Indy ring to it, it has to do with the four racers who, if they weren't out on the racetrack could make a very decent living as comedians. I'm referring to the four drivers who make up Andretti-Green Racing, and their constant stream of hijinks, jokes, sight gags and other items in their comedic inventory. I mean, we're talking about a couple of guys who, during the awards banquet the night after the 89th Indy 500, surprised their teammate Dan Wheldon with about three or four well-aimed banana-cream pies, just as he's being given an award and the winner's check. If you're not laughing yet, it gets better.

I mean, how would you feel after playing a practical joke on someone and then, while you're on national TV, he's sawing your mountain-bike in half, also on air as well. This happened to 2004 IndyCar Series champion Tony Kanaan during an ESPN broadcast prior to the 2004 Indy 500. You see, earlier in the week, he had played a neat little joke(don't ask me what it was, for they never mentioned it on-air) on teammate Dario Franchitti. Whatever it was, it must have been good, for the next day Franchitti found TK's mountain bike and while TK was on-air discussing how the month had been w/ESPN's John Kernan, Dario decided to exact his "revenge". And, did he ever, sawing TK's bike in half w/a hacksaw from the paddock.

Now, it could have been worse. Just ask Wheldon, for earlier that year, they(Kanaan, Franchitti, and Bryan Herta) had snuck into Dan's St. Pete home, and took all the left foot shoes the Englishman had(I just hope they brought a large container; Wheldon's got over 200 pairs of shoes, including the ones he wears on race day). It scared Dan so much that he almost had the locks changed on his home, and on the morning he was going to have that done, what should appear...but all the left foot shoes that were missing.

Remember in the first story about me saying that the racing community was like a large fraternity...this would be example #1 of how true that it.
It's also a reason the four make such great teammates; they're willing to play any practical joke in the arsenal so that, come raceday, they're completely focused on the task at hand--winning.

[mlittle]

And this is what happens when you go to see the movie Fantastic Four...and then read about the IndyCar Series' version of one of the characters in that movie.

If you thought that this year's Indy 500 winner, Dan Wheldon, was the only one to fill that role, then you need to add Vitor Meira to that list. I mean, seriously, you do have to feel a little awful for Meira on occasion. After all, when you have on one side, a former 500 winner(Rice) and the series' most-visible racer(Patrick) on the other, you'd feel invisible too. But that doesn't get to him. After all, he did work his way up the ranks to where he's at today.

Let's see...Like Patrick, he raced in the Formula Ford series(albeit a few yrs. prior/ mid-to-late 1990's) then bounced around Formula Renault, winning a round of that series. Moving forward, he headed back to Brazil, competing in the South American F3 championship, winning the series title in 2000, then headed to Europe for F3000 for a year or so before coming to America and competing in IndyCars. Like many racers, he started w/a backmarker team(Menard) for two yrs., winning the pole at Texas in Sept. 2002 and then completing 2/3rds of the 2003 season(missing a couple of races due to injury) before catching the proverbial break, signing on to Rahal-Letterman in 2004 as teammate to Buddy Rice.

The rest, they say, was history...he finished 8th overall last year(despite missing 2 races), won the pole at Milwaukee and was runner-up at Richmond and Kansas. This year's been no exception...4 top-5 finishes (including runner-up at Indy, 3rd at Kansas) and he currently sits 6th overall. Now if you think that there's a lot of pressure on him to get that first win, just remember this quote. When a reporter for the Richmond Times-Dispatch asked him jokingly, "If there is one superpower you could have, what would it be?", Meira's response was..."I already have one...Don't you know I'm the 'Invisible Man'?" Point taken.

[mlittle]

Quick, describe the person mentioned here. He's done the following....1)series liasion for the 2005 IndyCar Series rookie class, 2)drives the 2-seat IndyCar on race weekends, 3)worked as spotter for drivers Ed Carpenter and Jeff Ward, and 4)keeps trying to find an IRL ride this year. If you answered Thiago Medieros, 2004 Infiniti Pro Series winner, go to the head of the class.

This guy's done just about everything possible one could do in the IndyCar paddock but drive on Sundays. Considering where his two precedecessors, A.J. Foyt, IV(2002 IPS winner) and Ed Carpenter(2003 IPS winner) are(both are IRL racers), its' a shame, it really is. We begin in Feb. 2005, when he's assigned as the series' driver liasion to IndyCar series rookies Ryan Briscoe, Paul Dana, Tomas Enge and Danica Patrick. Essentially, this meant if they had any questions(about anything), it was his job to answer them or find someone who knew the answers. When the season actually began, he gets the 'honor' of driving people around each track in the series' 2-seat car. I'm pretty cretain he would've wanted to drive a 1-seater on raceday, but...at least he got to do something interesting on raceday.

With the exception of Indy, where he was the spotter for Playa del Racing's Jeff Ward, he's also been the spotter for Vision Racing's Ed Carpenter. Hey, it could be worse...he could be Foyt, IV's spotter.
Oh, and while he's doing all this, he's also trying to find a IndyCar series ride so that he drop everything else and do just that. Good luck....

Like I said earlier, it's a shame Thiago doesn't have a ride for this year; he's a good racer(better than Foyt, IV for sure) and someone needs to get this guy a ride, even if its' w/a backmarker team like Hemelgarn or Vision. Then again, at least he's still around. Dana was dropped from Hemelgarn after a practice crash at Indy and veteran journeyman Jimmy Kite now sits in that hapless seat.

[<T-K>]

These stories make for some very interesting (and rather humourous) reading.......keep posting them.

Maybe i can get a subscription

[Julian Mayo]

These stories make for some very interesting (and rather humourous) reading.......keep posting them.

Maybe i can get a subscription

Or contribute.

[mlittle]

Just reading them, T-K. Believe me, follow the sport long enough and you'll find plenty of humorous stories to tell.

[<T-K>]

These stories make for some very interesting (and rather humourous) reading.......keep posting them.

Maybe i can get a subscription

Or contribute.

Trust me, racing in South Africa isnt as captivating and thrilling as the IRL, or F1 for that matter, the highlight of one of our raceweekends are Mr Williams`s new shoes and when he steps in a puddle, then things really get intense...

[mlittle]

Every series, whether its' Formula 1, NASCAR, ChampCar or the IRL, has a tech official...you know, the guy that enforces the regs involving every possible facet of a racecar. Well, in the Indy Racing League, that job goes to a man universally known as "Rocketman", a/k/a Kevin Blanch, formerly chief mechanic at Panther Racing. He and his merry band of tech wizards, geeks and roustabouts will poke, prod and cajole an IndyCar through the tech line, all the while doing so w/a perpetual smile(at least on Rocket's face.). He's part-cop, part-equalizer, part-liasion and part-interpreter, all rolled into one.

During an IndyCar race weekend, every team knows that their car will see Rocketman at least three times during the weekend. First come a mandatory garage-inspection, where the cars' major components(front/rear wings, sidepods, engines, brakes, etc.) are checked and a shiny, postage-stamp sized sticker gets placed on the engine cowling. Without it, you ain't going anywhere. Once practice begins, most teams will run their cars past Rocketman, making sure they pass tech. There's one reason they trust Rocketman...he knows everyone; there's at two or three people on every raceteam that he in his 16+ yrs. in the paddock, whether it was with Ganassi. Pat Patrick Racing, or Panther Racing, so don't try to slip anything past him...he's a modern-day version of Smokey Eunick who knows where all the regs' "loopholes" are.

Now, prior to qualifying, every car entered goes through his tech line, where he and his dozen or so inspectors once again poke, prod and check everything on the car. After qualifying, those on the front row, plus about three more lucky individuals, get to visit Blanch again. The same goes for post-race inspection; the podium finishers, plus three more randomly picked, go back for one last inspection. Because the inspection process is generally on-going and informal, Blanch gets lots of questions about the rules, and he lets them, clearly but w/a tinge of humor, know where the grey areas are and where they can't go. Just ask Panther Racing...both of their cars at the fall race in Texas in 2004 were sent to the rear of the field for having an illegal flex-wing rear wing package.

As Rocketman puts it, "We're all a family. They want me to understand it as well as they do, and I want to understand it as well as I do. A lot of times I'll go to (the) teams and say, 'I've got this idea. If I do this, what would you think?' i might get six or seven (different) ideas back from them. I'll put them back together, just like I did (at Panther). It makes the thing quicker, better and more reliable."

So, when your car goes to the tech line, prepare to face Rocketman. Enjoy the banter, feel free to return fire at will, but prepare to be scrutinized. Or as Rocketman himself will say, "I'm here to let them know that if the other guy beats you on the track, he(or she) did it all fair and square."

[mlittle]

Quick, when Honda Motor Company decided to unveil its' lineup of 2006-model cars in the United States, it decided to start with the 2006 Honda Civic Coupe. Care to guess who stars in the commercial?

The commercial, which features Rahal-Letterman Racing driver and 2005 Bombardier Rookie-of-the-Year Award winner Danica Patrick, began airing during the Watkins Glen race and, believe me, its' a good commercial. Here's what happens...

The commercial begins with her walking towards a 2006-model red Honda Civic Coupe, talking to someone on a cell phone, telling them, "I'll be there in five minutes." So, she takes off like a bat outta' h---, and gets pulled over by a cop, lights flashing in the rear-view mirror. Now, the commercial gets interesting. Hoping to possibly get out of a speeding ticket, she fixes her hair, her makeup and everything else, hoping that when the officer sees her, he'll let her go with just a warning. Right as the officer's about to reach the driver's-side door, she looks in the rear-view and says to herself, "Showtime." Unfortunately, when see sees the officer, to her dismay, its' a policewoman who pulled her for speeding. The commercial ends with the officer walking back to her patrol car, Danica's license and registration in hand, mumbling "Rookie.", as the commercial fades.

The commercial, the first of several for Honda's new 2006-model cars, is expected to run through August of 2006. And you thought race-car drivers only knew how to drive, hmm? It could be worse...they could've had ChampCar Atlantic racer Katherine Legge stand-in as the patrol officer in the ad.

[JayVee]

Nice ad by the sounds of it!

Villeneuve did a Honda ad a few years ago for Canada (and maybe US). Never saw it but heard it was a good one!

We could soon see him in a BMW

[Julian Mayo]

Nice ad by the sounds of it!

Villeneuve did a Honda ad a few years ago for Canada (and maybe US). Never saw it but heard it was a good one!

We could soon see him in a BMW

sadly, its more likely to be a bicycle.

[JayVee]

He is a survivor. Many have written him off before

[Julian Mayo]

He is a survivor. Many have written him off before

Do you think he will lower himself to competing in a shootout for a seat? This is a World Drivers Champ we are talking about !!

[mlittle]

Question:What do you get a well-paid, world-traveling, IndyCar Series driver for a wedding present?
Answer:Depends on which driver you're talking about!

In the cases of IRL drivers Ed Carpenter, Danica Patrick and Buddy Rice...I'm pretty sure their friends and family have thought about that question all year. All three have weddings planned this month(Carpenter's is somewhere in the Caribbean, while Patrick's and Rice's nuptials are on the mainland. ) With this in mind, and considering the year all three have had, here's a few suggestions.....

For Carpenter:1}A fully-paid limo for that all-exhausting two-minute daily commute from his home to the Brickyard every day in May , 2}Free eyecare for his Vision Racing crew , 3}A HUD for his racecar(perfect for encouraging notes from his wife!) and 4}Lots of candles...you know, for those romantic, late-night, head-scratching engineering session at the race shop.

For Rice:1}A Boyd Coddington custom hot-rod....you know, as a family car. , 2}Backwards-facing baseball caps for all the ushers at his wedding, 3}2006 tickets to the Arizona Diamondbacks season, and 4}Lots of money in order to try bribing the SI reporters into possibly letting him be on the cover in 2006....

For Patrick:1}A longer clutch pedal for her racecar , 2}A gift card from Target(for added effect, just sign it...."from you friend, Ryan Briscoe! ), 3}A full day's spa treatment at the Jaques Lazier Day Spa, and finally, for her husband-to-be, Paul Hosphenthal: an "I'm With Danica!" shirt to wear at the track.

Enjoy.....now, I just need to run away from all the pitchforks in front of me. Have a nice day.